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[ST] Visitors guide to driving in Ireland
- Subject: [ST] Visitors guide to driving in Ireland
- From: MFay@xxxxxxxxx
- Date: Tue, 21 Feb 2006 15:30:40 -0000
Advice for all you potential tourists!
Martin (Howlin' Dawg) Fay
Ireland
'06 BMW K1200S
'00 Moto Guzzi California EV Touring
'75 Honda GL1000 Goldwing
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
1. Indicators will give away your next move. A confident Irish
driver avoids using them.
2. Under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance
between you and the car in front of you, because somebody else
will fill in the space, putting you in an even more dangerous
situation.
3. The faster you drive through a red light, the less chance
you have of getting hit.
4. Never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive
bodywork, especially with WW, MO or MH plates. With no
insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.
5. Braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your
ABS kicks in, giving a vigorous, foot massage as the brake pedal violently
pulsates. For those of you without ABS, it's a chance to strengthen your leg
muscles.
6. Never pass on the right when you can pass on the left. It's
a good way to prepare other drivers entering the motorway.
7. Speed limits are arbitrary figures, given only as a
suggestion and are not enforceable in Ireland during rush
hour.
8. Always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or
even someone changing a tyre. This is seen as a sign of
respect for the victim.
9. Learn to swerve abruptly without signalling. Ireland is the
home of high-speed slalom driving thanks to the Department of
Public Works, which puts potholes in key locations to test
drivers' reflexes and keep them alert!
10. It is tradition in Ireland to honk your horn at cars in
front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the
light turns green.
11. To avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover,
it is important to exit your vehicle through the windscreen
right away. Wearing your seat belt will only impede your
hi-velocity escape from danger.
12. Remember that the goal of every Irish driver is to get
ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.
13. WARNING! Never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. No
one expects it and it will result in you being rear-ended
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