[Author Index] [Date Index] [Thread Index]
[Date Prev][Date Next][Thread Prev][Thread Next]

Silly Stories; Non-Triumph Content



Here's something to lighten up your Sunday while you're all waiting for the
Brazilian F1 race to start in less than two hours...

Regards,

Paul Wilson
Toronto, Canada


>> AT&T fired President John Walter after nine months saying he lacked
>> intellectual leadership. He received a $26 million severance
>> package. Perhaps it's not Walter who's lacking intelligence.
>> ---------------------------
>> WITH A LITTLE HELP FROM OUR FRIENDS!
>>
>> Police in Oakland, California spent two hours attempting to subdue a
>> gunman who had barricaded himself inside his home. After firing ten
>> teargas canisters, officers discovered that the man was standing
>> beside them, shouting out to give himself up.
>> -------------------------
>> WHAT WAS PLAN B???
>>
>> An Illinois man, pretending to have a gun, kidnapped a motorist and
>> forced him to drive to two different automated teller machines. The
>> kidnapper then proceeded to withdraw money from his own bank account.
>> -------------------------
>> SOME DAYS, IT JUST DOESN'T PAY!
>>
>> Fire investigators on Maui have determined the cause of ablaze that
>> destroyed a $127,000 home last month - a short in the homeowner's
>> newly installed fire prevention alarm system. "This is even worse
>> than last year," said the distraught homeowner, "when someone broke in
>> and stole my new security system..."
>> -----------------------------
>> THE GETAWAY!
>>
>> A man walked into a Topeka, Kansas Kwik Shop and asked for all the
>> money in the cash drawer. Apparently, the take was too small so he
>> tied up the store clerk and worked the counter himself for three hours
>> until police showed up and grabbed him.
>> --------------------------
>> DO-IT-YOURSELF BRAIN SURGERY??
>>
>> In Ohio, an unidentified man in his late twenties walked into a
>> police station with a 9-inch wire protruding from his forehead and
>> calmly asked officers to give him an X-ray to help him find his brain,
>> which he claimed had been stolen. Police were shocked to learn that
>> the man had drilled a 6-inch deep hole in his skull with a Black & =
>> Decker
>> power drill and had stuck the wire in to try and find the missing brain.
>> ------------------------------
>> DID I SAY THAT???
>>
>> Police in Los Angeles had good luck with a robbery suspect who just
>> couldn't control himself during a line-up. When detectives asked each
>> man in the line-up to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or
>> I'll shoot", the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
>> ----------------------------
>> OUCH, THAT SMARTS!!
>>
>> A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack
>> designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit-of-the-Looms. The
>> robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he
>> was running out the door.
>> "He was seen hopping and jumping around with an explosion taking
>> place inside his pants," said police spokesman Mike Carey. Police
>> have the man's charred trousers in custody.
>> ---------------------------
>> ARE WE COMMUNICATING??
>>
>> A man spoke frantically into the phone, "My wife is pregnant and her
>> contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?"
>> the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted, "this is her
>> husband!"
>> ----------------------------------
>> NOT THE SHARPEST KNIFE IN THE DRAWER!!
>>
>> In Modesto, CA, Steven Richard King was arrested for trying to hold
>> up a bank of America branch without a weapon. King used a thumb and a
>> finger to simulate a gun but unfortunately he failed to keep his hand
>> in his pocket.
>> ------------------------------------
>> THE LAWN!
>>
>> A nurse was on duty in the emergency department, when a punk rocker
>> entered. This young woman had purple hair styled into a Mohawk, a
>> variety of tattoos and strange clothing. It was determined that the
>> patient had acute appendicitis and was scheduled for immediate surgery.
>> When she was completely disrobed on the operating table, the staff found
>> that her pubic hair had been dyed green, and above it was a tattoo
>> reading,"Keep off the grass." After the prep and the surgery, the
>> surgeon added a small note to the dressing which said, "Sorry, had to
>> mow the lawn."
>> --------------------------------
>> A MUGGER
>>
>> Late one night, a mugger wearing a ski mask jumped into the path of a
>> well-dressed man and stuck a gun in his ribs. "Give me your money", he
>> demanded. Indignant, the affluent man replied, "You can't do this -
>> I'm a United States Congressman!" "In that case," replied the mugger,
>> "give me MY money."
>>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>******************************* IMPORTANT NOTICE**************************
>Information contained in this e-mail correspondence is confidential
>information intended only for the use of the individual or entity named
>above.  Any reader of this message who is not the intended recipient of
>this correspondence is hereby notified that any dissemination,
>distribution, copying or communication of the contents of this
>correspondence is strictly prohibited.  If received this correspondence in
>error, please immediately notify us by phone in Canada at (905) 403-6500
>(collects calls will be accepted) or by email at webmaster@xxxxxxxx and
>delete and destroy this correspondence inadvertently sent to you.  Thank
>you.
>***************************************************************************
>************
>
>


     *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *   *
      The ST/RS Mailing list is sponsored by Jack Lilley Ltd.
          http://www.TriumphNet.com/st/lilley for more info
   http://www.TriumphNet.com/st for ST, RS and Mailing List info

=-=-=-= Next Message =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=